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Jokes
A guy wins a big jackpot on a slot machine in Vegas. As it is paying out
of the machine, but before the pit boss reaches the lucky winner, a
haggard man approaches him and says, "I don't mean to disturb you during
your big moment, but my wife is sick and needs an operation. Could you
see your way clear to giving me $5,000 of your winnings?"
The guy says, "Well, it's all well and good for you to say that, and if
it's true I sympathize, but how do I know you're not going to turn around
and just gamble it away?"
The haggard man responds, "Oh, I got gambling money."One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "Why do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca. And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway." Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!" Satan: "You a smoker?" Guy: "You better believe it!" Satan: "All right! You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow, that's awesome!" Satan: "I bet you like to gamble." Guy: "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." Satan: "'Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt... you're dead anyhow." Guy: "WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" Satan: "You gay?" Guy: "Hell, no!" Satan: "Hm, you gonna hate Fridays then."A woman went to a casino. She was new and dose not knows how to play...standing in front of the roulette she was watching how the game was going on. Roulette has always fascinated her. A handsome man standing there asked her why don't she try a hand on the wheel. She said "I have no idea as to which number I should play for. The maid advised " Why don't u play your age?"
The women bet the money on 21 and the wheel was spun. The wheel stopped at 35 and the women fainted.
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